There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
