just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
