look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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