there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
