i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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