when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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