A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
