Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
