So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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