what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
