you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.