What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.