The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.