The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout