So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
And then he peed in my hair
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