Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
