I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
