I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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