Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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