And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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