no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
