She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
