had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
