Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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