Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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