The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
