Is it normal to miss your booty call?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
