that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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