I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
