is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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