Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
