i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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