Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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