Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
