turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
