when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
