I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
