the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Pants are for mortals
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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