Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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