wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
