she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
