I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
