taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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