I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
