i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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