My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
