So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can I color on your dick again?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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