I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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