I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
