just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
