i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
