I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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