I think I won the penis lottery.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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