so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
