It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My pussy is not your playground.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
