I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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