I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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