No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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