He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
