you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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