i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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