3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think your dad took our porno
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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