...so i touched it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
