glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
