If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize