awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
