who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
