butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
