You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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