That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
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