i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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