it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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