We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
