The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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