porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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