check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
